Alternate realities

This is a blog idea I had a while ago, that I figured would be much much too long to write about given a reasonable amount of time that I would like to spend doing so. In any case, I just had the though, that what if I had made entirely different choices in my life, mainly since coming to college. I could have a much better, or possible even a worse life than I do right now. This can be very long, so I will just take it to a point. In any case, it boils down to this: if one day I had chosen to do something important, rather than putting it off for a while or not doing it at all (especially not doing it at all) where would I be right now? As far back as I would like to go that would have a drastic impact on the present would be the following: If I had actually joined the track team or other such thing in high school, as my mother suggested, as well as joining clubs and being more social, I would most certainly not be going to this same school. That one fact of me going to a different college than I had, would not only change how my life is, is to be, and was for the past few years, but would also change who I am as a person, who I am to be, and the things that I have experienced over the years. This is all very depressing, and knowing I can't do anything about the choices I've made now leads me to wonder how much time there really is left until I can fix a lot of things. Even knowing that, why can't I find the motivation to do anything that my life doesn't absolutely depend on?